It’s a Woman’s World, Part II–Ashley Madison

The recent data breach of Ashley Madison, a website designed for cheating spouses to find each other, has created an opportunity to study and determine the gender-based behaviors of men and women on dating websites.  I think this gives us a very accurate picture as to why so many men struggle with online dating because I think what we have learned from the users of Ashley Madison applies to other dating websites in the USA.  So far much of the press and the public seem preoccupied with determining which public, high-profile figures and celebrities we will find that have used the site.

As for me, I wanted to know whether or not women are even on these sites.  A study was done and published on Gizmodo that pretty much confirmed what men that have done online dating have always suspected:

1. There are orders of magnitude more men on the site than women.
2. That significant numbers of profiles are fake.  They were created by bots or the people who worked at Ashley Madison
3. That the men were much more active on the site than the women are.

Yep, it’s pretty much a sausage fest on Ashley Madison.  Check out the raw numbers by gender:

Anybody who has spent time on dating websites knows that just because you see a profile on the internet, it doesn’t mean that they’re active.  Gizmodo also looked at activity by seeking profiles of people who regularly check their message boxes and use the chat feature (strong indicators of activity).

This bitter piece of reality will surprise even the most jaded online dater.  There are literally 10,000 active men on Ashley Madison FOR EVERY ONE WOMAN!

This lopsided difference even applies for the chat feature.

It would be funny if it weren’t so sad.  Out of the 5.5 million female profiles on Ashley Madison, only a couple thousand of them represented real, active women.  As such they literally have a pick of the litter.

But now it’s time to get real.  The point that Gizmodo and other analysts that take a look at the leaked data are going to miss is that none of these women will actually be (physically) cheating.  Maybe we can count on our hands the number of women that have actually cheated through Ashley Madison, but it might as well be zero.  If social media has taught us anything, it’s that women crave attention.  Women aren’t wired for sex like men are.  If a woman puts up a profile on the internet and get’s bombarded with messages, invitations and likes, this will be enough to satisfy their ego.  They’ll still think they got it….even after they hit the wall.  It’s men that actually want to date and have sex.  They’ll want to actually do the act.

And if you think about it, 10-20 million men as active users are a significant portion of the adult male population in the US.  That’s a lot of lonely men doing an activity that won’t get them laid! Instead they end up sending messages and interest into the aether.

It makes you wonder if there are some dating sites that give men a more balanced ratio.  The good news is that there are.  But you have to go to foreign sites and mail order bride sites.  You still encounter fake profiles, but the balance is much better and the response rate is better (albeit not perfect–there are scammers out there).  This is one reason why I think the foreign bride phenomenon will grow.  American men will seek greener pastures when it comes to dating and initially that will involve the internet.  Once he sees how much better foreign searches works for him, there won’t be any turning back.

Discover Ukraine With Olga Reznikova

Olga Reznikova runs a video channel and blog titled Discover Ukraine that can be a valuable resource for the bride seeker trying to find love in the former Soviet Union (FSU).

She writes and does videos about various topics dealing with Ukraine, it’s culture and various current events effecting this area of the world.

I will share one of her videos here about marriage agencies, but her whole blog and channel is worth a look.

The video is a little long but it’s mostly a warning and word of caution for western men that use marriage agencies.  Some of the salient points:

• Working at marriage agencies is a popular job in Ukraine for young women and even some men.  Olga claims that there are forums that exist where such people discuss tips and strategies about how to get the most money from hapless foreign men that are interested in a foreign bride.  Olga was even offered such a job at one point in her life.  She also warns that this seems to be a big industry in Odessa, Ukraine, so be cautious when searching for girls here.
• Pictures can be deceiving.  Even if the woman in the photo is the actual girl, photo editing software can be used to drastically change the woman’s appearance leaving you disappointed when you meet with her in reality.
• Ukrainian girls aren’t a cheap commodity.  Don’t expect that a Ukrainian girl lives to service her husband and be a housekeeper.  Olga says that they can be quite demanding and expect good clothes, good house, etc.  This is pretty accurate from what I’ve seen also.  It reminds me of a quote from Oscar Wilde: Women have simple tastes.  They only want the best!
• Olga says to read testimonials.  There can be some confusion here because many unscrupulous agencies and websites will write their own testimonials.  I think she means to read reviews of agencies written by other foreign bride seekers.  To do that you need to find forums and blogs of men that will tell the straight truth about agencies and websites.

Olga is a priceless resource and I think many WM should be grateful to have her helping us and giving advice.  Knowledge is power.

Marry a Foreign Woman, Have Smarter Children

If you want to give your future children the best start in life, then you should consider marrying a foreign woman.

A study involving hundreds of thousands of subjects across several different continents have found that certain beneficial traits such as height and intelligence correlate very strongly with how “distantly related” the parents are genetically.

The study was reported on here.

Heterosis

These findings aren’t too surprising to me.  In the biological sciences, heterosis describes enhanced traits resulting from a cross of two genetically disparate organisms to produce offspring with traits that are much more enhanced or better expressed than in the original parents.  Such organisms are called hybrids and they have some very interesting effects.

Plant and animal breeders have been trying to exploit and cope with this biological principle since domestication.  The wider the crosses between parents, the more fit the organism (generally speaking).  This tends to reduce the probability of problematic alleles or genes from being expressed leading to genetic based diseases or malformations.  For example, I know of some dog lovers who desire pure-breeds but have to cope with the expense of dealing with their own unique health problems because their genetic parents aren’t as genetically diverse as the mutts are.

For Your Country!

I honestly think that an underestimated factor in the economic and geopolitical success of the United States is its genetic diversity.  The US draws immigrants from all over the world and they start mingling, pairing off and having hybrid children.  This cycle tends to be self-reinforcing as more genetically viable children start seeking other more genetically viable children through social stratification where they end up marrying and producing more children like themselves.

The resulting prosperity leads to a lot more social mobility.  A prosperous individual won’t necessarily live out his days where he grows up.  He’s going to take advantage of opportunities further from home that will put him in contact, and possibly have children, with people more genetically different than his family, hence reinforcing the cycle further.

For the Children!

Why can’t you find a nice American woman?  The foreign bride seeker will get this question a lot.  Having better, healthier and more competitive children isn’t a reason that most of us have thought of.  We were only thinking of our own happiness.  But leaving a good legacy and giving your children a good start is important to most parents and marrying a foreign woman is now a scientifically validated way of accomplishing this.