A recent text message put into some perspective about the reasons why I seek a wife abroad. I’ve copied the text message below with exact spelling and grammar. My comments are interspersed.
Stranger @ 10:14 pm – Heyyy
Stranger @ 10:14 pm – Whats sup
Me @ 10:15 pm – Hey. Nothing much
I didn’t recognize the number I was receiving the text messages from, but my first thought was maybe it was a girl that I met a long time ago and she decided to initiate contact with me. But I didn’t want to ask her who it was right away in the hope that she might mention something that would trigger my memory and save us from an awkward encounter.
Stranger @ 10:16 – Laying on my bed lol
Me @ 10:16 – Lame
Stranger @ 10:17 – Thats gud lol
This is good news so far. Instead of making a suggestive comment in response to her being in bed (most horny guys would), I negged* her and she responded well and didn’t act offended.
Stranger @ 10:19 – Yu know who it is?
Crap! She’s asking me directly if a know or remember her. I try to remain ambiguous and redirect the conversation.
Me @ 10:19 – I have a few ideas
Stranger @ 10:20 – Ok tell me lol
Me @ 10:20 – Nah
Stranger @ 10:21 – Ok its jose
Crap! My stranger is actually a guy and he thinks he’s been texting a girl. But now I’m curious as to how long I can keep up the ruse. I wanted to perfect my text game** a little.
Me @ 10:22 – What’s up
Stranger @ 10:22 – Here laying down resting wbu?
Me @ 10:23 – Just chilling
Stranger @ 10:23 – That’s good lol
Stranger @ 10:25 – How old are yu?
Me @ 10:28 – Wow. nosey
Stranger @ 10:29 – Yu asked me that lol
Me @ 10:30 – Yep
Stranger @ 10:31 – So i wuld like to know too lol
Me @ 10:32 – You already know how old you are
Stranger @ 10:32 – Now i dont know and i told yu before already
Me @ 10:33 – I’m legal
Stranger @ 10:34 – Ohh okay thats good
Stranger @ 10:36 – Yur really pretty 🙂
Annnd…there it is! I wasn’t giving much response for him to use to continue the conversation so he resorts to complimenting me. I still try and act stand-offish to see how far he’s willing to chase.
Me @ 10:38 – You have good taste
Stranger @ 10:39 – Yeah i know i do lol 🙂
Shyeah! Poor guy thinks he’s a Cassanova and has me all warmed up. Poor guy. I feel sorry for him if this is the best he’s got.
Stranger @ 10:44 – So tell me about yurself and stuff
Me @ 10:45 – Like what?
Stranger @ 10:46 – Everything about yu
I admit that I’m surprised the conversation has dragged on this long. If it were me in his shoes, I would given up after it was apparent that I wasn’t getting any dialog out of a girl. It’s late at night at this point and I didn’t want to lose sleep over this game so I try to shut the conversation down.
Me @ 10:48 – Normally I would but I’m not the type of person you think I am
Stranger @ 10:48 – What yu mean? Explain yurself
Eh? Seriously dude? After chasing me for over a half hour you’re going to put your foot down, now??
Me @ 10:50 – I suspect that you either missdialed or a girl gave you a bad number
Stranger @ 10:51 – Ohh okay
Stranger @ 10:52 – Sorty
Eh? After giving him a runaround for over half an hour making him think I’m a girl he likes, he apologizes to me??? This guy is so naive he won’t stand a chance with any woman. I kinda fell sorry for him so I try and give him some advice.
Me @ 10:52 – Work on your text game a little more. You sound too eager.
Stranger @ 10:53 – Ok
That’s the last I heard of him.
It must be nice to be an American woman. You can snub a guy or blow him off and he’ll still be coming back for more. And if she’s in the social scene she could have many guys like this orbiting her like moons of Saturn. Perhaps if she’s bored one night, she’ll give one of these chumps an opportunity to buy her dinner and drinks. It must do wonders for her self-esteem to know that a free meal and entertainment is a “yes” away. If she plays her cards right, she may never have to buy food again.!
I’ve texted or Skyped with girls that are like the one I pretended to be. I find them completely vacuous and I got a better understanding why after this conversation. An American girl who is pretty enough wouldn’t need to put very much effort into appealing to a guy so she hasn’t be able to develop a personality not to mention seducing a guy. I don’t know why it took me so long to decide not to play this game anymore.
Strangely, the type of text game I ran is like crack cocaine for a girl if she really likes you. This is because they rarely get this type of response from a guy she’s texting with. Most guys will be like the stranger I was texting with. They’ll ask nosey questions and say how pretty she is. Also notice in the text conversation that if I didn’t reply right away, he followed up with another text message. This is what I meant when I told him he was too eager and that he should work on his game a little more. But if a man sticks with one or two word ambiguous answers it makes her chase you and makes her think that you might have a few other girls as options because no guy would act like this if he didn’t. This was a hard lesson for me to learn because I like to talk a lot about many different things and I was always indoctrinated with the idea that women like conversation. After dating on line and chatting by text message or Skype, I’ve learned that less is more.
These are the types of games a guy must play to get anywhere romantically with a woman in America. Ironically, you have to pretend that you aren’t interested in her. It’s a game that only works if she likes you a little at least, and that was never very common for me. Eventually, a guy recognizes a losing game when he sees one and the only way to win is to not play.
* A few words about negging: A neg (derived from “negative reinforcement”) is best described as a backhanded compliment rather than a direct insult. Although my “lame” answer in the text message conversation was a fairly direct put down by implying that she was a boring person or that I wasn’t impressed with what she told me. It isn’t meant to insult but does poke her self-esteem enough to make her question herself and demonstrate to you that she really is as hot as she thinks she is. She is now trying to impress you and not the other way around. This also sets you apart from other guys because most of them will say how beautiful she is while he buys her drinks and utter corny pickup lines. I’d use a neg sparingly. Too much and too frequent and she’ll probably just think you’re a jerk. Plus women are finding out about this strategy and this knowledge may limit it’s effectiveness. Search for “negging” on gaming or Pickup Artist websites to get a better idea of how this strategy is used.
** A few words about text game: Game refers to a man’s strategies or abilities to pick up girls. If he seems to do this easily and successfully, he is said to have good game and other men will want to learn from him. If he has trouble meeting women, he is said to have no game or weak game. Text game refers to trying to employ successful game strategies over text or chat to pick up girls. Generally, it seems to involve short and cryptic responses that pique a girl’s curiosity so that she will want to reply and continue the conversation.