Taylor Swift: She’s beautiful, successful and completely opposed to dating, marriage and having children–At least for right now.
In an interview for In Style magazine, Swift describes some of her ambitions and goals in life and they don’t include marriage or children. The reasons why not sound errily familiar to why many American women won’t date and tie the knot, forcing a lot of ordinary men to seek love and marriage overseas.
Choice quotes from the interview:
- “I’m too young to get married. Not agewise, but I know myself, so why try to meet someone right now when I know I’m too young to do something serious?”
- ” [My] group of friends,” [which includes Lena Dunham, Lorde, Selena Gomez and Jaime King] are the most important thing to me right now. They are so fun and know me and like me for who I actually am”
- “The last couple of years have been about defining life on my own terms. Being on my own, prioritizing my girlfriends, my family and my music above everything else and trying things I never thought I’d try. It’s a really liberating and freeing time.”
- “It would take an astonishing human for me to even consider getting back into a relationship. It would take something really, really, really, really different—a kind of a one-in-a-million person for me to face all that. I don’t have any kid of idea who I’d want to be with, because I don’t have any pieces missing from my life right now. I’m not looking for anything to complete. I think that’s a nice place to be.”
In other words, Swift’s career and her friends come first and not finding a husband to create a family with. You go girl! as some of the feminists would say.
Swift also has some unrealistic expectations. According to her, it would take “an astonishing” human to get her to commit to any man. Swift has socialized and dating some of the most eligible bachelors on Hollywood’s A-list and can’t find one to fit the bill? I’m thinking the men aren’t Swift’s problem. It’s her.
Swift and the American women that seek to emulate her will think that she’s only 24 years old and still has plenty of time to find Mr. Right. She/we just want to get our careers established!
Except that at 24 years old, girls don’t have a lot of time. In about five years time, Swift’s biological clock is going to start ticking–loudly! And if her girlfriends like Selena Gomez and Jaime King start pairing off and settling down with men of their own, that ticking will become deafening! This is a bad time to be in for a woman that’s still single because she will be approaching an age to where she will become less and less visible to men as the next generation of hot talented girls begin to make a name for themselves. In the literature of pick-up artists, this stage of life for women is crudely described as hitting the wall. She might as well think about buying a cat when she gets to this stage.
Taylor Swift is in a profession that is very image conscious so she is likely devoting a lot of time and resources to look good and take care of herself so that her appearance and desirability can be extended past her 30’s and into her 40’s and may perhaps snag the affections of a producer or executive of some sort. And all the women in the country will applaud Swift for living happily ever after while sticking to her principles.
But most American women don’t have this luxury. On average, they start to hit the wall at around age 30. And just because they won’t date and commit to a man, doesn’t mean they won’t stop having sex. A significant portion of these women will have children out of wedlock which will decrease their chances of snagging a husband even further.
Even if a select few of these women survive this gauntlet that nature brings upon her and emerges with her beauty in tact, she may still regret it. Consider what Vivica Fox said in a recent interview with Oprah Winfrey, much to Oprah’s surprise.
“Do you ever miss being a mother?” Oprah asks Fox in the above video.
“Of course,” she says. “That’s the biggest regret of my life, that I didn’t have a child.”
“I’ll never forget seeing Halle on the red carpet at the Essence [Black Women in Hollywood] Luncheon. She just had [her daughter] Nahla, and I said, ‘Wow she so beautiful.’ She said, ‘Vivica, if I knew then what I know now, I would’ve had five of them,'” Fox recalls. “She said, ‘The joy I see in her eyes is just like no other high that I’ve ever experienced.'”
It just doesn’t suck to be a women in this environment, but also a man who desires commitment and marriage. Because even if men have an advantage of being able to date younger women when they are older, those younger women will be influenced by the next generation of Taylor Swift, whoever she might be.
It’s all shaping up to be a lose-lose situation for everyone involved and it’s all because of who we choose as our role models. Kirsten Dunst was openly mocked for her views on relationships while I hardly hear a peep about Taylor Swift’s opinions. That’s enough for a man to try and seek greener pastures overseas.